Sometimes, late at night, I miss you so much and worry myself so much about us that I start to feel sick. This is the point where I can't sleep, I can't think straight, I just want you next to me to comfort me. I want to cry. Thinking about how our lives together and all of our dreams together could be cut short. Tonight you said "I have to worry if I will ever see my kids be born". That hit me hard, they wouldn't only be your kids, but mine too. Moments like that want me to start my life together with you now. I want it all now. I don't know how not to be jealous about you. Why can't it just come easy? Why can't I have it all right now? That's just the way life is, whether I like it or not, I have to realize that this world isn't all about me. I wish that with all the imaging I do, that you can appear next to me in bed, with your head on the pillow next to mine, falling asleep, holding hands, worrying that with every move, I might not be touching you anymore. One day soon, we will get to be together, just you and I. I will get to have a best friend again, something I long for often, I will get to have the love of my life back. For now, I will lay my tear-filled eyes down on my pillow and drown my sadness in the sleeves of your sweatshirt.
"What is the opposite of two? A lonely me, a lonely you."
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