first time in a while.

Today is the first time in a while i feel like crying over you.  It is a strange feeling sometimes when I don't feel like crying.  But tonight is different.  When I feel like I have a crappy life surrounding me and you are the only calm that I can find, it is tough not to have you close.  I don't like being far away from you and worrying about things so much.  Why does the world seem to spin faster out of control?  Just when it all starts to look bright and right things get crazy.  I just want you to be here and make it all disappear.  You make me forget about everything, or is it that you make me not care about anything anymore? I am nervous about our life together.  I can't wait, you make me such a better person.  I love you.

"I love walking in the rain, because then no one knows I'm crying."

warm tea and an apple.

Ah, Panera.  I do love the food here and now I am a much happier person that I was 2 hours ago!  I'm not stuck in traffic and I have stuffed my face with carbohydrates.  I miss you on cold night like this.  We could be snuggled up in the living room with the fire place on and falling asleep while a movie was playing.  It would be a great night.  But now I will be sitting in Panera typing you a love letter that you can't read.  That's okay.  I have been reading the book and thinking about you.  He is about to go on his first long-term mission.  He already saved the Black Hawk, but now it is go time.  You will be be him soon.  Overseas, running missions, yelling orders, being my hero.  It blows my mind to think that you have the skills and the mindset.  I have complete and honest faith in you to do what you have to get done.  And when you come home, I will be here.  Waiting patiently for you to be all mine again.  We are going to have the best life that any married couple has had.  I am so in love with you David.

"A life's worth, the end isn't measured in hours, or dollars. It's measured by the amount of love exchanged along the way"

-Douglas Means