remember me.

Tonight is the first night that I have the feeling that you will forget about me.  I need the good mornings and the good nights, I need to be reminded that think of me.  Our whole relationship is about goodbyes.  No hellos or see you after works.  Goodbyes.  I love you so much that I can't imagine what life would be like without you.  Sometimes I just sad.  I just want to have you, all for me, and I want you to remember that I am here, waiting for you.  Soon we will be married and saying goodbye again.  I cry about it all the time.  I am going to be a mess without you.  I miss you.  You complete my life and without you, I feel lost.  I sit quietly here in the hall, crying for you.  Wishing, praying that time will past so quickly.  I just want to be with you.

"Wait, wait for my love.  Don't forget me, never let me go.  Wait, wait for my love." -- OAR

another goodbye.

It seems like just yesterday I was wasting time in anticipation for your arrival.  Now, 46 hours later, I have had to put you back on a plane back to your real life.  I love when you are in town, I am so filled with joy and elated to be around you, I want that day when we get to do that everyday.  I just want you to be there for me and I want to be there for you.  I want to be your best friend, I want to go where you go, I want to share my wishes and make dreams together with you.  It will be a happy day when we will marry.  I want to defy everyone's poor wishes about marriage.  I want it to be great and I want it to last forever.  I don't want to listen to anyone's theories and scenarios on failed marriages.  Why would we prepare for that?  Why wouldn't we imagine that it is going to be good and know that we will have to work.  But that's what love is about, you and  me together, figuring out life.  I miss you so much and want time for just you and I to be us.  No friends, no family, nothing but our love and happiness.  I love you my Honey.

If you love someone more than anything, then distance only matters to the mind, not the heart.

first time in a while.

Today is the first time in a while i feel like crying over you.  It is a strange feeling sometimes when I don't feel like crying.  But tonight is different.  When I feel like I have a crappy life surrounding me and you are the only calm that I can find, it is tough not to have you close.  I don't like being far away from you and worrying about things so much.  Why does the world seem to spin faster out of control?  Just when it all starts to look bright and right things get crazy.  I just want you to be here and make it all disappear.  You make me forget about everything, or is it that you make me not care about anything anymore? I am nervous about our life together.  I can't wait, you make me such a better person.  I love you.

"I love walking in the rain, because then no one knows I'm crying."

warm tea and an apple.

Ah, Panera.  I do love the food here and now I am a much happier person that I was 2 hours ago!  I'm not stuck in traffic and I have stuffed my face with carbohydrates.  I miss you on cold night like this.  We could be snuggled up in the living room with the fire place on and falling asleep while a movie was playing.  It would be a great night.  But now I will be sitting in Panera typing you a love letter that you can't read.  That's okay.  I have been reading the book and thinking about you.  He is about to go on his first long-term mission.  He already saved the Black Hawk, but now it is go time.  You will be be him soon.  Overseas, running missions, yelling orders, being my hero.  It blows my mind to think that you have the skills and the mindset.  I have complete and honest faith in you to do what you have to get done.  And when you come home, I will be here.  Waiting patiently for you to be all mine again.  We are going to have the best life that any married couple has had.  I am so in love with you David.

"A life's worth, the end isn't measured in hours, or dollars. It's measured by the amount of love exchanged along the way"

-Douglas Means